Tag: new novels

Alexandra encounters a number of female predators in her journey through Black Lake. In the beginning she is as drawn in by the predatory women as the males. However, as she evolves she learns to disengage and reclaim a more powerful womanhood, based on a higher purpose and the values of dignity, self respect and a desire to foster the best in all relationships.

Female predators in the wild can be as vicious as any male.  They come in many forms, from the vicious wild cats to the shy Black Widow who catches her prey in a messy looking web, and who may or may not kill and eat her mate after he has helped her reproduce.  The human female predator can be just as vicious and toxic.  These women are not usually particular about prey - they can be any sex, race or age, as long as they feed their needs.  However, it is the mate who must be particularly careful - for she is unquenchable.   The dominance of the female predator is often masked, camouflaged to fit in with the territory. Like all successful predators, this kind of female knows how to spot vulnerability, and neediness.  Then, when the guard is down, she goes for the jugular.

          But, first there is the stalk - she feeds your ego, laughs at your jokes,  understands your needs, sexual and otherwise.  What you don't know is she is a master at camouflage and subtrefuge.   She's an emotional roller coaster, exciting, intriguing. Or perhaps the girl is quite demure - it all depends on the nature of the hunt.  Regardless of  manifestation, she will become a mirror of what you are looking for, and understand and need you like no other. This is the early part of the stalk.  Once she's got you by the neck, you won't see her look at you with enticement.

A predator never looks into the eyes of the prey once the victim is taken.

 At journey's end Alexandra will have outwitted one of these predators and guided another to gain what she desires through self actualization.

What I Want – A Manifesto

      What I want is to love with pure abandon and animal instinct.  

      What I want is to love to others in a way that feeds them and makes them feel strong, enabled and secure. 

      What I want is to teach my children to own their voice - to become adults free to express themselves in their own unique way.  I want to create a nest that will stay with them as long as they live - as they face the wonderful and terrible challenges of life. I want them to shake up the world and make it a place where freedom of personal expression is embraced by everyone, not just the select few. I want them to fight for the oppressed and raise the consciousness of those who take power through oppression.  

       What I want is to touch the soft skin  and look into the innocent eyes of a newborn baby, and to look into the gleaming wrinkled orbs of one who has lived long -  to learn about the journey that will take me to the end of my days. 

       What I want is to express all I am, my creativity, my spirituality, my zest for life, my fears about life, my hopes and dreams for the future, my desire to change the status quo, to search out new and different ways to live.

      What I want is to understand all around me, the animals, birds, fish trees, insects, and the unseen life that share our world. I want to soar with the birds and swim with the dolphins.  I want to dive into the mysterious world beneath the oceans and the lakes, to look for pirates booty hidden in ancient ships covered with barnacles and moss.  I want to protect the creatures of the earth and to understand them and their unique societies.

       What is want is to investigate and probe into the past, into the peoples of past ancient societies.  I want to find the secret mysteries of the ages hidden in codes and relics of the past.  I want to help them resonate and be heard once more.  I want to make the words set in stone, tablet and parchment come to life.

       What I want is to try everything once and a few things many times more, to renew my passion.  I want to feel the rush of adrenaline as I swing through the trees and run through the paths of the jungle.  I want to drive a convertible fast through hot, dusty towns, and feel the sun burn my skin and the wind whip through my hair.  I want to stop next to a waterfall by a lazy stream and love my mate with the sun smiling down upon us – like Eden – like we had returned to the Garden of Eden.

       What I want is to find the most exotic and beautiful our earth has to offer - crusty glaciers, jagged mountains, pillows of snow, blue ice and burnt earth, deep craters, dense jungles, glorious red sunsets, burning hot sands, and torrential rains.  I want to walk with naked feet on the burning sands of the desert, and to stride from the warm azure waters onto the sugary sand of a tropical beach.  I want to run from the natives, and have them catch me and carry me to the Chief, who will teach me his wizardry and the secret ways of those who have lived with the earth and nature for millions of years.

      What I want is to touch the finest silks, and drink the finest champagne, and taste the richest and most delectable foods that the finest chefs have to offer.  I want to see all of the great art of the world – in every museum, to hear the great masters of every form of music, to see and touch the rarest of gems, to watch actors make me gasp and cry and want to live on the stage – because they are so alive and so human.

      What I want is to ride a horse free, without reins, bucking and snorting and galloping through the plains, through the habitat of the natives.  I want to know their customs of the tribes, their secrets and to dance with them around their bonfires.  I want to sleep in a tent and hear the roars of the lions in the Serengeti, to ride a camel to the base of a pyramid, to sit in a teepee warmed by a bonfire in the desert, and to join the shaman as they cast their spells at the peak of a mountain near Machu Pichu.

      What I want is to believe that there are extra terrestrials.  I want to learn what they have to teach me.  I want to walk a crop circle and feel the energy and try to understand the mathematics that it teaches – to square the circle, to learn more able DNA, to learn about how we are all the same and yet, so remarkably different.

      What I want is to change the world in some small way, to help revolutionize the way people think about their lives – to help them understand this is only a small blink of time and the mores and customs we thing invicible, are only that - just mores and customs - not the word of God written in tablets of stone.

      What I want is to be uncensored about how I spend my time,money, or my life.  I want to to love anyone who inspires my creativity or my physical passion.  I wish no to be defined by age,physical characteristics or social status.

      What I want is to understand the spiritual elements of life.  I want to get closer to God and whatever else is out there to guide and elevate me to a higher plane of consciousness.  I want to find the divine in myself and in my mate and all of the creatures of earth.  I want to be taken up into the clouds, into the heaven of spiritual delights.  I want to know ecstasy here on earth.

      What I want is to tame the predator in me, and to give the victim the strength it needs to search for power in action and self realization.

      What I want is to forgive those who have transgressed against me, who have victimized and treated me with disregard as they fed themselves what they needed to prosper and survive.  I want to help these people find the light, help them find the brightness in themselves to nourish and protect them, so that they no longer need me to sustain them.

      What I want is to share my passions and visions, hopes and dreams for the future in all of my relationships.  And particularly I want to share this with my mate.  I want my mate to accept all that I am and to take me deeper into myself.  I want to look into eyes that are as deep as the sky, promising new worlds to explore, never-ending possibilities.  I want to be fearless with this person.  I want to take their hand and learn to fly.

      What I want is to find the “diamond” that is now hidden from me; the one that is not easily found, but when discovered is strong and brilliant and everlasting.  And when I find that “person”, I want to create a light together that will transform the world.  

      What I want is Peace – a peace that is pure and beautiful.  I want a peace that is not an oasis in the desert, but rather, a way of living, a way of living life that is simple, and real and true.

      ALL I WANT - is to be me.

     What do you want? 

Anastasia Blackwell